It has been a few weeks since I posted, because nothing I wrote felt safe to post. I have been struggling with the adjustment to a paycheck that is dependent upon others showing up, and the knowledge that no matter how many clients I see this year, it will not be enough to pay my share of the bills. I have also been questioning what is safe to say under the present pol!tical regime.
In truth, I have little to add to the chaos playing out across the world stage.
My approach to activism has varied over the years. Lately, it’s been a matter of watching and waiting, while finding little ways to do my part through my career progress. I have a finite reserve of resources, and I sense that it would be most effective to apply them with consideration. I have also, out of necessity, had to prioritize earning a living. In a way, I see it as a more mindful approach. I have been watching for long enough that the “surprises”, when they come, are not surprises. By detaching myself from these changes as they occur, I am not overwhelmed by them. Recently I have seen the idea circulating that the point is to overwhelm and destabilize us, and that we must resist falling prey to that strategy. In fact, I think it is wise for those doing the work to take breaks when needed.
At the same time, I recognize that this is easy for me to say in part because I am not in immediate danger. (In fact, I’m pretty sure I could only be more privileged if I were a man and wealthy.) My residency and health and safety and identity are secure, for now. I could name many, many others in my life who cannot say the same–but of course, I will leave them their privacy. Suffice it to say, my relaxed stance is a luxury and is not to be mistaken for apathy.
That said, the best advice I have seen thus far is to find community and build connections, and I think there could be a universality in this approach. Not only is it feasible across most intersectional identities, it is also applicable in many arenas. There is of course, the activism sphere. Beyond that, through this approach I myself have had better conversations with family and friends and strangers with shared passions. I am strengthening my position at work, and I am finding professionals to collaborate with on advocacy and advancement of the counseling field. On a more frivolous front, I am even seeking to shift the sales of my artistic creations from an online platform to brick-and-mortar stores.
In closing today, I offer a brief overview of some coping skills which have come in handy lately. These come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and were first presented to me through Russ Harris’ The Happiness Trap. A word of caution… the purpose is not to feel better; rather, it is to prevent our difficult feelings and thoughts from consuming us.
Choice Point: For when doing the “right” thing feels hard
It could be brushing your teeth, or not having that extra [insert vice here], or calling your representative.
Does doing this move me closer to my goals/values, or further away from them?
Unhooking: For those pesky thoughts (or feelings) that keep getting you down
Perhaps you’re already predicting how things will escalate over the next few weeks, months, years. Maybe everything feels a little hopeless right now.
Separate the thought (or feeling) from yourself… “It’s hopeless” becomes “I’m having the thought (or feeling) that it’s hopeless”
By externalizing the thought (or feeling) you limit the power it has over you, allowing you to move more easily through your day.
Anchoring: For when the storm of emotions is rolling in, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it
Like a ship in a storm, drop anchor with these three steps:
- Acknowledge what you are feeling (or thinking) – externalize it if you can.
- Connect with your body – time to tune into your “observing mind” instead of your “thinking mind”.
- Engage in whatever it is you are doing in the moment – use your five senses to notice your surroundings, your actions, etc.
* * * This is a quick and dirty overview; see the links above for more information. * * *